The economy is going down the tubes, we’re spending trillions of dollars a second on a war that no one understands, families are having to choose between fuel and food, and the government is subsidizing our TVs?
Not kidding. It’s graduation season; everyone has to attend at *least* one, and this year I went to my brother’s. It was a nice ceremony actually; a couple of the speeches were actually worth listening to, and the rest were worth sitting through to see my bro finally pick up his all important piece of fancy paper.
About mid-way through the ceremony there was a mysterious “Special Diploma Presentation” listed on the program. So the superintendent of schools hops up on the stage and announces to the room that she is presenting a diploma to a man (whose name escapes me; I’ll do some research and get back to you) who attended the high school many years ago but dropped out early to fight in ‘Nam. The catch: the man died nineteen years ago. So his grandson took the stage, talked about his Pop-pop a little bit and then accepted his grandfather’s post-mortem high school diploma.
This story fills me equally with happiness and sadness. It makes me so happy that the family and the community respect this man enough to honor his memory and recognize his achievement of (more or less) completing high school and therefore thirteen years of education. It’s just that… why did they wait until he was worm chow to do it?? I might have actually shed real saline if an old man in an army uniform had hobbled to the stage on a walker and accepted a diploma, his eyes shining tears, but the fact that they waited so long makes my heart hurt a bit. I wish he had been there to see it.
Anyhizzle, just an interesting little tidbit for you there.
In general, people who know me tend to think I’m smart. I got fairly good grades in school, did really well in an Advanced Placement class, “got a good head on my shoulders!,” that sort of thing. But to people who don’t know me, I think I sometimes come off as a bit dim. I understand things best when I see them, so I have a hard time following spoken instructions; I often don’t hear things that people say and therefore misunderstand them; I get flustered and my mind goes into telephone mode (see my “Can I speak to your mother…” posts), all of which ends in ugly confusion, with me looking like a dumb girl who doesn’t know how to do much more than smile and say “Have a great day!”
I would wear a sandwich board that says, “I’m not dumb, I’m just drawn that way,” but it doesn’t fit the dress requirements at my job.
So my question is this: If you appear, to the general population, to be a certain way… does that mean that you really are that way? That is, if what’s inside your head remains quite safely in your head and doesn’t make an appearance, then does it really count for anything?
Are you what you are perceived to be?!
I’ve got a sinking feeling the answer is yes.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ALS, Ammonium Lauryl Sulfate, Aussi, Caress, Dove, Old Spice, SLS, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Suave
If you look in my shower you will find a sufficient, if not extensive, collection of soaps and detergents for both genders to meet your tubby time needs. There’s Dove Volumizing and Avalon Organics Clarifiying shampoos, Aussi “Sun Touched Shine” conditioner, Sauve Men’s 2-in-1, Old Spice body wash, St. Ives Whipped Silk and Sweet Moment bath gels. Only two of those products (the Aussi and the Avalon Organics) don’t contain sodium lauryl/eth sulfate or ammonium lauryl/eth sulfate. All the others have one or more of those listed on the ingredients list, usually as the second ingredient (the first being water).
For those who don’t know what SLS or ALS are, they’re very cheap and very effective surfactants (in other words, they make bubbles happen). They’re also very dangerous poisons.
(more…)
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Antioxidant Water, Snapple, Water, You've Been Had
I’m so irritated I don’t even know where to begin. If you think that this is water, please do me a favor and slap yourself with a wet badger.
Here’s an experiment: stick a bottle of Snapple’s new “Antioxidant Water!!” or Sobe’s “Life Water!!” or Glaceau’s “VitaminWater!!” in a room with a pre-schooler, some Poland Spring, and a Minute Maid. Explain to the child which drink is juice and which one is water and have her put the Snapple/Sobe/Glaceau with the matching drink. The kid is not going to hesitate to place the faux-H2O with the bottle of juice, and she would be correct! However, adults… the same adults who are put in control of cars and airplanes and young peoples’ minds on a daily basis… go “OOO look! Pretty colors wrapped in a trendy label that says water! Can I buy it in bulk?”
If you cock your head toward Westchester, NY and listen carefully you can almost hear Snapple’s CEOs laughing their asses off.
(more…)
Is it just me or are kids getting more attractive? All the middle school and early high school aged kids, boys and girls, I see lately are just gorgeous! In a haughty, I-think-I-know-everything kind of way.
Wait. Did I just say that? I’m still technically a teenager! I’m still young enough to remember (in a grasping, clinging to the memory kind of way) what it was like to be told I thought I knew everything. To be honest, I didn’t think I knew any more than I do now. Of course, I suppose I didn’t think I knew anything less. But thats the thing, isn’t it. You never feel like you’re young enough to be looked down on until you’re old enough to look down. Even then, *you’re* not to be looked down on anymore because you’ve got the wisdom and maturity that comes with your age! Until five or six years down the line when all those pretty little pre-pubescent middle schoolers are now college sophomores and they still just don’t seem like they “get it” yet.
And then before you know it you’re dead. I think I’ll go use my time wisely now…
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Bagels, Idiot, South Dakota, South Dallas
I like my job because it allows me to be social in ways I’m normally not brave enough to be. I guess I feel safer chatting to strangers when I’m behind a counter and wielding a long serrated knife. There’s also a sort of intimacy that develops between two people who see each other on an almost daily basis, particularly when one knows the intricacies of the other’s breakfast and relishes the task of making it (or at least, appears to relish in order to score tips).
Today a man I had never met came in to order a sandwich. As I was taking his money I noticed his shirt advertised a tattoo parlor or something similar in South Dallas. Having lived in the Dallas area for almost a year, I was intrigued. I debated whether I wanted to ask him if he was from Dallas, and decided, what the heck, I’ll bite. I asked the man, “Are you from Dallas?”, nodding at his shirt. He told me he was actually from Ohio, and we had a discussion which mainly revolved around me explaining why I had lived in Texas, whether I preferred it to my home state, and the concrete of big city vs the greenery of small town. As he smiled at me and turned to walk away, wishing me a good day, I noticed his shirt actually said “South Dakota.”
I am an idiot.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Bagels, Disappointment, Garlic, Theivery, Yum
I am the Queen of the Not-Follow-Throughers. I completely intended to do that whole three-phase theme search that I wrote about several weeks ago, but…. I didn’t. I couldn’t think of a good idea for the “Universally Popular List” week, which isn’t so surprising as, if I could have, I would have done it already. I had a really good idea for the “Casual Journalism” theme, but I decided I wanted a new blog entirely for that as the name “Oh Thank God…” doesn’t really fit. But therein lies the problem: I can’t think of a name that a) fits and b) isn’t already taken. I’ve thought of a million different names and they all pretty much suk ballz.
So please just bear with me as I continue to regale you sporadically with tales from my life. Like this one:
As you may or may not know, my income is generated by the dedicated bagel-following of a local community. Kinda random, kinda mundane, but very tasty. Until now I’ve never been particularly loyal to one kind.
Garlic bagel + pizza sauce + a dash of Parmesan cheese = ohmigod heaven. I’m thoroughly addicted.
Now we don’t serve pizza sauce or parm at the cafe I work at, so at the end of the day if there are any garlic bagels left, I bring one home for my after-work snack, and oh do I look forward to that.
This is what happened today:
12:30 pm: There’s one lonely garlic bagel left in the basket. I say to co-worker #1, “Oh, I hope no one buys that bagel before the end of the day so I can have it for a snack!”
2:00 pm (Closing time): I’m rejoicing on the inside because there it sits, untouched, mixed in among the salt bagels. The doors have been locked (though one is still propped open with a chair so we don’t roast while we’re cleaning up), so there’s no hurry to claim it and put it in a bag away from the others just yet.
2:01 pm: A lady comes to the propped open door and asks if we’re still open. We’re not. Co-worker #2 generously lets her come in anyway. She mentions her love for garlic bagels. I begin to fear for my snack.
2:02 pm: I run into co-worker #1 in the kitchen and relate my fears to her. We go investigate the lady’s order; she’s standing at the register ready to pay and my bagel is still untouched!
2:02:30 pm: Co-worker #1 exclaims loudly about the situation, prompting the lady to inquire as to why co-worker #1 is exclaiming. Co-worker. #1 says, “Oh, it’s just that we had a bet about the one garlic bagel that’s left……..” Lady cuts in with, “Oh there’s a garlic bagel left? Can I have that one instead of the onion?”
Foiled. The late-coming thief gives me the biggest smile as she buys MY BAGEL and then leaves. With my bagel.
2:03 pm: I am reduced to shambles and have a left-over cookie instead.
It’s cloudy today.
Cloudy days make me want to fly away and go somewhere. I’m impartial as to where, I just want to go. On the cloudiest, raniest, horrible weather-est days, once you’re up above the clouds you can see that the sun is still shining.
I do so love traveling. Yes, I know, everyone says that. But it’s not just the ‘being somewhere else’ that I like; I love the actual act of traveling. Loading all your luggage into the car, checking in at the airport, the adventure of finding your gate and the opportunities to dawdle and browse through the shops once you’re there… I love it all. I love how everything gets minuscule as soon as the plane takes off, and you look down at this tiny little planet that was once life-sized, the one you used to live on, and really finally realize just how much of a speck you are.
And then you snuggle back in your seat and wait for the snacks to be passed out. I don’t know what it is, but airplane travel makes me ravenous.
