Oh, thank God…

If you look in my shower you will find a sufficient, if not extensive, collection of soaps and detergents for both genders to meet your tubby time needs. There’s Dove Volumizing and Avalon Organics Clarifiying shampoos, Aussi “Sun Touched Shine” conditioner, Sauve Men’s 2-in-1, Old Spice body wash, St. Ives Whipped Silk and Sweet Moment bath gels. Only two of those products (the Aussi and the Avalon Organics) don’t contain sodium lauryl/eth sulfate or ammonium lauryl/eth sulfate. All the others have one or more of those listed on the ingredients list, usually as the second ingredient (the first being water).

For those who don’t know what SLS or ALS are, they’re very cheap and very effective surfactants (in other words, they make bubbles happen). They’re also very dangerous poisons.

So you’ve got your SLS, which is Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, and you’ve got your SLES, or Sodium Laureth Sulfate. SLS is an irritant that can seriously mess up your eyes and skin. The American College of Toxicology published a report which states that concentrations of SLS as low as 0.5% cause irritation, and concentrations of 10-30% cause severe irritation and skin corrosion (remember, this is the second ingredient of my body wash!).

Ok, that sounds a bit like scare mongering. The thing to keep in mind is that this report isn’t advising against the drinking of body wash; it’s not like saying “Smoking ten packs a day is bad!” Many soaps really do have an SLS concentration of 30%, which the report calls “Highly irritating and dangerous.” (Key word: dangerous.) Not only that; you can keep your eyes and mouth squeezed shut while you’re sudsing up in the shower and it will still get into your body. SLS is absorbed through your skin, which kind of makes me wish I hadn’t scrubbed quite as vigorously in attempt to exfoliate all those times. Once it’s in your body, SLS mimics estrogen which causes problems ranging from PMS to male fertility loss to breast cancer, where increased estrogen levels are involved. Additionally, SLES (which frequently contains dioxane, a known carcinogen) can’t be broken down by your liver, so it sticks around in your body longer. Think about that next time you’re lathering up with your Caress Exotic Infusions “Moroccan” Ultra Rich Cream Oil Body Wash! (Yeah, I might have that in my shower too.)

What I find disturbing is that the report was published in 1983. 1983!! That was over two decades ago and huge companies like Unilever, which is probably close to monopolizing your bathroom, are still pouring generous amounts of this dangerous toxin into their products; products that go into your hair, over your skin, leak into your eyes and mouth… you see the problem?

One more thing: SLS can be found in sections of your local Wal Mart other than bath and body. It’s also used in car washes and engine degreasers.

So that’s my little PSA. It’s not the whole entire story… there’s much more scary stuff to know about SLS and ALS, but you can look that up on your own. I’m just kind of pissed that I’m going to have to dump all my soaps down the sink and go buy all new ones! In case you’re taking me seriously here are some reasonably priced SLS-free shampoos and soaps to stock up on. You don’t have to thank me.